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Cape Town - Following the shock announcement of Nico Rosberg to quit Formula 1 mere days after winning the 2016 championship, the F1 world has been abuzz as to who will replace the champion at Mercedes next year.
Bosses of the Mercedes F1 team have come forward and expressed their displeasure in the current situation - most notably Niki Lauda, who publically stated that the team is "in the worse possible situation".
Finding a replacement
But truth be told, Mercedes is unlikely to struggle in finding a replacement for their departed champion. If they so wished, they can easily promote Manor driver Pascal Wehrlein to the most coveted seat in F1 today, but Wehrlein is still a bit too green. He needs more time behind an F1 steering wheel.
Then there is the option of Valtteri Bottas and striking a deal with Williams, because, I mean, Mercedes does supply the blue-and-whites with engines, so surely an agreement can be reached.
READ: South African F1 fans clamber for Rosberg's vacant Mercedes seat
There is also Fernando Alonso, whom Toto Wolff (Mercedes team boss) rates very highly. But Alonso is contractually bounded to McLaren-Honda for 2017, just like Sebastian Vettel is bounded to Ferrari. And if Merc is to acquire either Alonso or Vettel, they'd have to fork out a pretty penny to have either driver released from their respective teams. But both of these drivers have publicly committed themselves to their respective teams for 2017.
Clearly, then, Mercedes is in a bit of a pickle, because in little over two months the first pre-season tests will commence and as we all know, there is a load of preparation that goes into getting ready for a new season.
Raising our hands
The Wheels24 team came across the above ad and thought of helping the Mercedes F1 team out of their predicament. How? By applying to be Lewis Hamilton's team mate in 2017. With no formal training, engineering expertise, karting experience or ability to communicate via two-way radios, here's why journos at Wheels24 will swap their day-jobs to travel the world.
Charlen Raymond - Dear Toto Wolff and Niki (please talk) Lauda.
When I heard that Rosberg retired from the sport, I immediately thought to myself: ‘How can I apply?’. And with this golden opportunity presented to me, I would like to state why I will be the ideal fit for Rosberg’s vacant seat. With Alonso and Vettel not racing for you in 2017, here's why I'm the ideal interim candidate - at least until one of them signs for 2018!
See, I’m taller than Rosberg (186cm vs. 176cm), so I can actually see over the nose of the car. It also means that my seat can be positioned much lower, which will result in the car having a greater centre of gravity than Hamilton’s. And as we know, gravity is very important.
I also weigh 92kg, some 28kg more than Rosberg. This means that the car’s minimum weight can be reduced, while giving it some lowdown grunt. What I also possess is a well-maintained, underdeveloped potbelly. Now, this may seem like excess weight, but in actual fact it centres my entire body and draws my existence into being.
But the greatest attribute I will bring to the race track is the fact that I have four eyes. Mixing my biological vision with non-state-of-the-art spectacles, I have the pretentious ability to spot and recognise the perfect racing line.
To conclude, I have been itching for an opportunity to showcase my racing skills on the big stage. My passion and skill should be reasons enough for me to skip through all development phases and directly into the pinnacle of motorsport. Also, I've been on the Cobra at Ratanga Junction and was just about able to withstand the maximum 4Gs it threw at me for the full 40 seconds.
So I’m pretty sure I can handle 5Gs for 90 minutes.
Janine van der Post - Hey there Toto, Niki,
I've always loved F1 and even if I had the slightest inclination of wanting to be Nico Rosberg's replacement, I just can't see myself wanting to be away from my family that long - unless they were with me. And, I suppose, if I could earn as much as what Rosberg was bagging, or even half of Lewis Hamilton's salary, my husband and daughter very well could just travel with me for the 20 race weeks of 2017.
And as much as what I'm a big Lewis Hamilton fan, the only reason I'd want to be his team mate is to give him a taste of his own medicine and show him how to play real mind games, I am a woman after all. I'd like to challenge his mindset and show him what stealth mode is. I personally think he had it easy with Rosberg as the latter was a bit of a pushover, and the stress Hamilton had caused him was also probably one of the biggest reasons he threw in the towel to his F1 career.
Being a mom of a toddler means I know how to handle manipulative behaviour, and any tantrums when Hamilton can't always get his way. With that said, I'd probably be fired soon in my Mercedes career, as I would not tolerate any off the cuff remarks about your drivers, from you dear Toto and Niki.
In fact, I would take my own application form and pass it on to Ferrari's Sebastian Vettel or Kimi Raikkonen, and yes even McLaren's Fernando Alonso to be Hamilton's team mate. We're going to need all the drama we can get if Mercedes is going to make the wrong choice to partner up against their three-time world champion.
