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Present and (not always) correct

2015-01-06 07:47


THREE WHEELS ON MY WAGON: All I wanted for Christmas was a ride in a Morgan three-wheeler at a measly R3365. Image: Dave Fall

OK, so what did you get for Christmas?

Was it something you really wanted or was the usual pair of socks – albeit Technicolored – ora  pack of motifed hankies (who still uses handkerchiefs in this day and age, I wonder) that seemed to be all the rage in the UK.

For the record I’ll always be truly grateful for the Onesie* that came my way this past festive season from my other half.  You don’t know what a Onesie is… well I’m darn sure I'm not going to provide this portal with a photograph! (Just as well, I've seen him in it and it ain't pretty! - Editor)


No, having been on this planet for almost three scores years and 10 I really could have done with one of the three special offers featured in a British national paper in the run-up to Christmas: The Morgan Car Company down in Malvern in the country of Worcestershire in the UK offered, for ony lR948, a factory tour and afternoon tea for two.

You get to view a Morgan movie before being taken down to the workshops where you can witness first hand real tradesmen bashing sheets of tin or aluminium into panels and sawing lumps of ash timber to make one of their stunning-to-look-at sports cars.

Not a robotic welder or CNC lathe machine anywhere.

Or, for a measly R1826, I could get behind the wheel of three incredible supercars (from a choice of 12) and drive the nuts off them for 20km on a private airfield. With seven venues (such as Brands Hatch or Silverstone) to choose from, one also earns a souvenir certificate for posterity’s sake – providing the company gets its car back in one piece!

I’ve nothing against supercars but the chance to drive one of those Morgan three-wheelers would do very nicely, thank you.


For R3365 one gets the chance to spend a full hour at the wheel – or you can be chauffeured; a guided factory tour and museum visit, a gift pack and a safety briefing.

This would do very nicely, thanks.

If the above is a little too cool for you then how about this offer from Red Letter Days. For R10 381 you get to drive a bunch of genuine army tanks for nine (NINE) hours, learn how to drive/fire a range of classic military weapons such as mortars and muskets, a Lance missile carrier, an FV432 armoured personnel carrier and a Supacat.

Naturally, before you take to Salisbury Plain or wherever the military exercise leads, one is kitted out in the correct camouflage gear to keep the Breitiosh health and safety police happy.


At the end of the day the best driver gets to crush a car with a 56-ton Chieftain tank! I’m kind of hoping the line-up of potential crushed vehicles includes many, many Toyota Hi-Aces, but I digress...

*Imagine a one-piece, adult-size, fluffyish but somewhat gaudy tracksuit with a Union Jack flag (or something equally embarrassing such as Spider Man or the Incredible Hulk) emblazoned thereon.

That’s a Onesie!


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