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Reader test: Ford Ranger

2010-10-29 16:25

BLACK OUT: Richard's Ranger is the last word in urban chic.

Richard Fitzpatrick, Cape Town

What we have here “pimps `n hoes” is a “wicked” Ford Ranger 3.0 XLE double cab diesel manual - in full gangsta spec.

Black bodywork, blacked out windows, blacked out canopy, black leather seats (more on those later), hangdown DVD player for the “playas” in the back and 20-inch wheels on rubber so thin you could use them for condoms.
The farmers out there in their Hiluxes will probably think it’s more “hairdresser” spec than gangsta, and one of my homies said it looked more Jack Parow than 50 cent... I soon put a cap in his ass!
It`s a big old boiler, its reminds me of my ex-wife (although she drank a lot more diesel than this does) and you get 8.5 to 9.0 litres per 100km no matter how you drive it or what you put in it. No complaints there.
What’s it like to drive?

Well, start up the motor and you get that diesel buzzsaw/clatter that sends a shot of testosterone to your “nether regions”. The clutch is light and progressive, the gearbox has a short and direct throw, first is short so you have to push through that a bit, but nail it in second or third and it shoves you in the back like the class bully from your school days.

The steering is nice and light - perfect for those one arm out of the window “drive bys”. On the motorway at 120kph – “I’m sure I wasn’t going any faster than that, Officer” - it purrs along with just some wind noise from around the wing mirrors. The ride on the 20 inchers and leaf springs can get a little firm, but it`s not as if every journey ends at the chiropractor.
The switchgear doesn`t look so good but actually feels very tactile and solid to the touch. I get lots of positive remarks on the looks of this car but, unfortunately, only from men...hrmmm!!!...add to this the fact that my hoe, sorry, wife, hates it and it’s a double hrmmm!!!

Those seats
I`m told that the back seats are a bit cramped, but as I don`t travel in the back I don`t really care! The load bay is big and will quite frankly take just about anything that you need it to.
Now back to those seats, they are incredibly comfortable. How comfortable I hear you ask? Well let’s put it like this: imagine being wrapped in the arms of Angeline Jolie...and yes, she`s naked...and yes and yes again she’s covered in 2 centimetres of chocolate mousse... Now you are starting to understand just how good these seats are. On a Ford bakkie!? Brilliant.
Would I recommend this car? With links to gangsta rap, a naked Angelina and chocolate mousse, it`s not a car, it`s a movie! Of course I would!

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