OK, so what did you get for Christmas?
THREE WHEELS ON MY WAGON: All I wanted for Christmas was a ride in a Morgan three-wheeler at a measly R3365. Image: Dave Fall
Was it something you really wanted
or was the usual pair of socks – albeit Technicolored – ora pack of motifed
hankies (who still uses handkerchiefs in this day and age, I wonder) that
seemed to be all the rage in the UK.
For the record I’ll always be truly grateful for the Onesie*
that came my way this past festive season from my other half. You don’t know what a Onesie is… well I’m
darn sure I'm not going to provide this portal with a photograph! (Just as well, I've seen him in it and it ain't pretty! - Editor)
HOW ABOUT A MORGAN MOVIE?
No, having been on this planet for almost three scores years
and 10 I really could have done with one of the three special offers featured
in a British national paper in the run-up to Christmas: The Morgan Car Company
down in Malvern in the country of Worcestershire in the UK offered, for ony lR948, a factory tour
and afternoon tea for two.
You get to view a Morgan movie before being taken down to
the workshops where you can witness first hand real tradesmen bashing sheets of
tin or aluminium into panels and sawing lumps of ash timber to make one of their
stunning-to-look-at sports cars.
Not a robotic welder or CNC lathe machine anywhere.
Or, for a measly R1826, I could get behind the wheel
of three incredible supercars (from a choice of 12) and drive the nuts off them
for 20km on a private airfield. With seven venues (such as Brands Hatch or
Silverstone) to choose from, one also earns a souvenir certificate for posterity’s sake – providing the company gets its car back in one piece!
I’ve nothing against supercars but the chance to drive one
of those Morgan three-wheelers would do very nicely, thank you.
HOW ABOUT GOING INTO BATTLE?
For R3365 one gets the chance to spend a full hour at the
wheel – or you can be chauffeured; a guided factory tour and museum visit, a gift
pack and a safety briefing.
This would do very nicely, thanks.
If the above is a little too cool for you then how about
this offer from Red Letter Days.
For R10 381 you get to drive a bunch of genuine army tanks for nine (NINE)
hours, learn how to drive/fire a range of classic military weapons such as mortars
and muskets, a Lance missile carrier, an FV432 armoured personnel carrier and a
Naturally, before you take to Salisbury Plain or wherever
the military exercise leads, one is kitted out in the correct camouflage gear
to keep the Breitiosh health and safety police happy.
At the end of the day the best driver gets to crush a car
with a 56-ton Chieftain tank! I’m kind of hoping the line-up of potential
crushed vehicles includes many, many Toyota Hi-Aces, but I digress...
*Imagine a one-piece, adult-size, fluffyish but somewhat
gaudy tracksuit with a Union Jack flag (or something equally embarrassing such
as Spider Man or the Incredible Hulk) emblazoned thereon.
That’s a Onesie!