The crude oil price might have dropped, but the Royal house of Abu Dhabi still has cash to burn on hideous SLR conversions. Money and taste: mutually exclusive concepts?Proving the point about every man having his price, the Royal family of Abu Dhabi commissioned German Mercedes-Benz aftermarket tuner, ASMA (we kid you not), to do frankly unspeakable things to the limited edition Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren.The Holzmaden based tuner was only too happy to oblige when a €1 000 000 project price was tabled. Working furiously in its workshop between Stuttgart and Ulm, the ASMA team managed to fashion a hideous new front grille and merge it with a sickly protruding front bumper. Ornate side sills, a new rear bumper with integrated diffuser and unique aftermarket wheels cannot mask the carbon-fibre horror that is the front third of this car.Big power boostAt least the typically efficient German engine tuning expertise has raised the venerable 5.4l supercharged V8’s power output by 62kW to 522kW and torque from 780Nm to 855Nm. Good thing too, as you’ll need every last vestige of performance to speed away from the pointing and laughter of other road users. Fortunately the additional power enables it to overcome a bit more drag and speed on to 350km/h instead of the standard SLR’s 334km/h top speed. It you drive this car past Woking in England you’ll probably be shot by the local constabulary. It may even be the reason Ron Dennis is retiring…In a peculiarly German fit of humour, it’s called the Perfectus – which would still be considered a joke if it was not for the extraordinarily limited number of SLRs produced. When production is wrapped up in March this year the global population will only be 3 500 cars, and at the rate German aftermarket tuners are molesting them, you had better hide yours away.