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402kW H2 - one slammin' Hummer

2009-08-05 12:15
Built in America. Customised in Bavaria. Despites

Built in America. Customised in Bavaria. Despised all across the world. Karl Geiger’s supercharged H2 might be too bizarre for even the most hardened despot or R&D music video director to stomach.

Vehicle Specs
Manufacturer Hummer
Model H2 Geiger
Engine 6.2l supercharged V8
Power 402kW @ 5 900r/min
Torque 763Nm @ 4 500r/min
Transmission Six-speed auto
Zero To Hundred 6.9 sec
Top Speed 228km/h
Tyres 315/30R30
If you’re planning on invading a small country – like Luxembourg – why not do it in ridiculous style with the Geiger H2 Latte Macciatto.

Madcap Bavarian (aren’t they all?) Karl Geiger has been adding a touch of German aftermarket craftsmanship to American cars for nearly three decades.

The oversized H2 Hummer was an obvious foil for his talents.

Think 22-inch mags are silly? Don't read further...

Beyond those slightly impractical 30-inch chrome wheels (rolling rather harsh riding 315/30R30 profile tyres) and the chocolate-fudge-surprise paintjob, there is significantly upgraded performance on offer with the Geiger H2.

Chassis tweaks include additional stabilisers (a necessity considering those wheel diameters), rear axle struts and adjustable dampers at all four wheel corners.

Brakes are upgraded too, with Brembo six-piston calipers up front and four-pot grabbers at the back actuating 380mm discs all-round.

You must be thinking what the point of the chassis strengthening, adjustable dampers and better brakes are? Well, flip (or, strain and lift, to be precise) the bonnet and you’ll discover a blower atop the 6.2l GM sourced V8.

Geiger's H2. About as subtle as a Bakkies Botha late tackle. Despite sporting a transfer case with low-range, we would stay away from off-road stuff with this...

Supercharged pace - kind of

With the supercharger whining off the crank at full boost, power is up from a stock 293- to 402kW, with rotational force peaking at 4 500r/min with 763Nm.

Considering this H2’s kerb weight - which is the wrong side of 3t - and those simply ludicrous wheels, Geiger's H2 needs as much power as possible to keep trucking at a decent speed.

With the supercharger whining away at peak operational engine speed you should hustle the Geiger H2 from 0-100km/h in a surprising 6.9 seconds, before topping out at 228km/h, by which time the wind resistance acoustics should sound like the beginning of judgement day.

Looks like the leftovers from a circa 1983 lounge suite brochure.

Pimping cabin

For most H2 owners, interior opulence and custom trim is a given – there is practically no such thing as bad taste in their minds.

Karl Geiger must have slaughtered a herd of cattle to trim nearly the entire H2 cabin in brown and beige leather.

If the combination is not garish enough for you, there are 400 cabin parts and trim bits finished in piano lacquer, and pseudo-oxblood Alcantara covers the pillars and roof structure. Truly, this H2 is not for those easily susceptible to car sickness.

For convenience and comfort there is a high-end Pioneer sound and DVD system which doubles to easy parking challenges via a rear-view camera display.

Hummer H2 – crazy car. Karl Geiger – one crazy Bavarian. They simply had to find each other…


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