Just when you thought the Porsche Cayenne could not get any uglier, the pending Transsyberia version stoops Porsche design to a new aesthetic low. A spin off from the 7000km Moscow to Ulaanbaatar Transsyberian Rally, think of the Transsyberia S as Porsche’s contemporary G4 Discovery – only a lot more pointless. Whereas the racing Cayenne models are equipped with genuine mud-plugging BF Goodrich tyres, sand-ladders, toolboxes and optional winches, production Transsyberia S models are a lot more contrived. Six-speed manual 'boxWith the Transsyberia S you get roof mounted quad spotlights, some horrid dual-tone exterior colour combinations and a revised Cayenne drivetrain. Featuring the GTS sourced 4.8-litre, direct-injection V8 producing 298kW and 500Nm, the Transsyberia S offers the option of a six-speed manual-shift gearbox for ultimate driver involvement. Equipped with a 15% shorter final drive (4.1:1) Transsyberian models are half a second quicker from 0-100km/h than a stock Cayenne S. Porsche’s sophisticated active suspension and traction management systems ensure a nearly perfect compromise between asphalt dynamics and off-road ability. Capable mud-pluggerThose insane enough to risk dinging their Transsyberia on truly challenging off-road trails will surely invest in the off-road technology package. It incorporates a rear differential lock, side-sill protection with integrated skid plates, reinforced protection for exposed parts of the engine, fuel tank and rear axle. If things do go completely awry the off-road package provides additional recovery points front and rear. Distinguishing interior features include ornamental trim in the contrasting colours to those chosen for the exterior. The steering wheel rim, is padded (preventing blisters during those long hours of lapping shopping mall parking lots) and finished in alcantara – which should wear particularly badly in an authentic off-road environment. Increasing the pseudo motorsport vibe of the Transsyberia S is a steering wheel featuring a 12 o'clock mark in one of the contrasting colours. Despite SUVs current perceived about as socially acceptable as clubbing seals pups, Porsche will be showcasing the Transsyberia S at the Paris motorshow from 4-18 October. The world's most aesthetically challenged SUV on show in the world's most style obsessed city - should be fun.